Tuesday, July 16, 2013

Bridging the Gap in a Long Distance Relationship

I have previously written before about my experience in a long distance relationship, and have seen more than ever that I am not alone.  An increasing number of couples, especially those in their early twenties, are finding themselves stuck in long distance relationships.  Whether it only be a couple hundred miles or a couple thousand apart long distance relationships are never easy and I can say from personal experience that even after years apart it can still be lonely missing someone you care so much about.  You lose that sense of intimacy and connection you take for granted in an face-to-face relationship, and that can take a toll on any couple.  However, with all of the new technology of the recent years it has become much easier to make the distance not feel so long.  Here are some pretty neat ways to help lesson the distance in your LDR.
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Build-a-Bear

This may sound like a weird suggestion, but Build-a-Bears can be great for long distance relationships!  You can make ones together which, if you've never made one before, can definitely be a fun bonding experience on its own with the silly things they put you through.  Once you have it stuffed, you can dress the bear up and name it together.  Also, you can even record a sound and have it inserted into your bear, leaving loving messages for each other while you are apart.  It's sweet way to have something connecting you through the distance.

My boyfriend and I made one together for him and it was hilarious the things they made him do before he could put the heart in, like jumping up and down and spinning around (and it was in the middle of the Boston store!!).
Adorable and embarrassed.


Online Games

If you and your significant other like playing games in person, then see what multi-player games you can find online.  Here is a link to some great online multiplayer games that you might like take a look out.  My boyfriend enjoys online games far more than I do so our multi-player games are usually pretty basic because I'm so terrible at most of them.  We generally like card games, checkers, or other board games converted to online play.  It's definitely a fun way to make the distance feel a little less extreme, and you can use it to challenge them to later in person game marathons.
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Phone Apps

Having a smartphone is probably the greatest tool you can have for a long distance relationship.  There are so many amazing apps to play around with that are specific for those in LDRs.  One app my boyfriend and I love using is called couple.  It's like social networking, but only between the two of you.  You can upload photos, draw pictures with one another, make lists, add important dates, and thumb kiss (my favorite part).  A thumb kiss is when you each match up your thumb on the screen and it vibrates, "kisses", when they are held together.  It's the most adorable thing I've seen!

For messaging, there are viber and whatsapp, both messaging tools that you can use to even message internationally (I belive you can also call with viber...).  I really like whatsapp and it's what we have used as a couple for the past two years; I especially like the tons of cute emoticons that we'll often string together for funny messages.  A new kind of "messageing" app I recently stumbled upon is Postagram.  With this app you upload your images and then you can send it as an actual postcard!  I haven't tried it yet, but I think it's such a great idea.  Additionally, I know many of my friends use snapchat as a fun way to talk to their loved ones, though I've never used it myself.

Also on smartphones you have a ton of multi-player games at your fingertips.  A few of these types of games that my boyfriend and I enjoy are: Angrywords (like scrabble), bike race, and draw something.  With a smartphone so much is possible for connecting a long distance relationship!
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Video Chat

Nowadays video chat is often the standard of most long distance relationships.  It's a great way to hear the voice of your loved ones while simultaneously seeing their face, essentially the closest you can get to face-to-face interaction while you are apart.  The most well-known program for video chatting is Skype.  It's free from computer to computer and has come a long way since I started using it my first years of college.  While Skype is the most well-known, it is definitely no longer the only chat of its kind.  There is facetime for Apple users, ooVoo, facebook video calling, and Google+ hangout which allows for multiple users to chat together at once.  It's all about your personal preference and what video chat program works best for your relationship.



"Dates"

When I say "dates," I mean virtual ones that really go hand and hand with video chatting.  I know I have read of some people having the date in public, taking their laptop to a coffee shop or somewhere else and have a date with their loved one but for my boyfriend and I, our "dates" were never anything in public.  Instead we would often cook together, study together, or watch movies together.  We would plan the time for our date and choose what we wanted do together.  Last fall for my boyfriend's birthday we 'celebrated' his birthday together with a birthday shot and blowing out a candle.  It was something small and sweet, but helped feel like we weren't so far apart for the major events in our lives.

Happy birthday to him!


Internet

Along with online games and phone apps, is the great technology that comes along with the internet in general.  There is first of all an abundance of advice you can find on the internet, like this great LDR website: Loving From a Distance.

But if you wanted something to send to your significant other then how about a geoGreating!  Type in your message and it searches for buildings and landmarks throughout the world that spell it out for you.  You could also send flowers with flowers2mail.  You choose and decorate the vase you'd like to use. then make your own floral arrangement.

If your LDR is very long distance like mine, then use this time zone converter or this distance calculator so you know what time it is where your loved one is and how far apart you two are.  You could also make a joint blog about your lives or a pinterest account for the things you would like to do/have when you're finally together.  The possibilities for long distance relationship activities and advice on the internet are endless and invaluable to any LDR.
The geoGreeting I made :)


Care Packages/Letters

This may be "old-school" for many people my age, before being in a long distance relationship I couldn't even remember the last time I mailed someone a letter, but it is much more sentimental than an email or text.  Mailing your loved one a letter or care package is a way of giving them a small part of you, something you physically had in your hands and sent to them.  You could even spray your perfume or cologne on what you sent so they receive your words and scent, or send an item of clothing of yours they loved.  

If you haven't sent your significant other something during your time apart I highly recommend it.  Receiving something in the mail is the best feeling in the world, especially if it's from the one you love.  Here is some stationary you can download and use in your next letter across the distance.
Postcard from when my BF was in the Philippines.

You can read more about my experience in a interview I did as part of the So You're Dating a Spaniard series in one of my favorite blogs: Y Mucho Más.

Have you been in a long distance relationship before?  What have you done in your LDR to help bridge the gap?

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